Hello everyone,
Well I've had a busy couple of weeks. I've been away visiting my in-laws & now I've come down with a very nasty chest infection/pluerisy type thing which has nearly hospitalised me (more on that later). In my last post I metioned that I'd had a new tattoo & said that I would be doing a post about it.
Tattoos are still very much a controversial subject. Love them or hate them, they are seen everywhere nowadays. Years ago, people would have been shocked if someone with a full sleeve or bodysuit walked past them but now its seen as the norm. I am a tattoo lover. Since I was about 10 I've always wanted tattoos. To me, tattoos are a way of adorning your body, & if they are done well, they can be beautiful works of art.
The tattoo that I have just had done (well... completed) is something that is still a particularly taboo subject. I have been with my fiancee since April 2012 (since I was 17). One day in December 2012 we walked into a local tattoo parlour. I had his name tattooed on my back in small letters & he had my name & the word "Forever" put on his upper arm in considerably larger letters.
At this point several of you are probably gasping & thinking "Oh my God I would never do that" or "That was a stupid thing to do" or "What if they broke up?". Alot of the people I knew said the same. I had planned to have a heart & banner put around mine too but didn't have the cash at the time. However that was what I recently had done.
I am not going to sit here & feel like I have to defend my decision. Why should I? Yes, alot of people are going to want, as the saying goes "Their five pennorths worth of opinion" but at the end of the day it was my choice. It's my body & life is too short to think "What if" or "I might regret this". I love my fiancee & am marrying him because we want to spend our lives together. Marriage & relationships nowadays are often based around planning for a grim "in the event that it goes wrong". It shouldn't be about that. Relationships should be based on love & the will to make things work without having to worry about if's, but's & maybe's.
If something was ever to happen between me & my other half (unlikely as everyone says we're like one of these old married couples you see who still hold hands in their 70's lol) then I'd still not regret my decision. It would be there to remind me of all of the lovely, happy memories we have together. It may sound like I'm bragging & going on but I'm not. I think the key to our relationship is honesty & trust. We talk through our problems & support each other. My partner is patient, kind & honest, & in return I try to be the same for him.
His name on my body makes me feel like he really is a part of me & shows how big a part of my life he is. Probably sounds cheesy lol but it's true. He says he feels the same about my name being on him & I know that neither of us are going to live to regret it. Like I said, people will have their arguments but that is their cross to bear & I'm not going to let "what if's" get in the way of my happiness.
I'd love to know if anyone else has experienced something like this & how they feel about it. Thanks for reading :) xxx
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For questions, suggestions, opinions & comments, feel free to either comment below or email me at:
dollytrolley1994@gmail.com :)
Showing posts with label Advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Advice. Show all posts
Saturday, 23 August 2014
Friday, 13 June 2014
Managing & relieving pain
Hello everyone!
Today I want to tell you about some of the ways that I deal with pain. If you read my blog then you will have heard me tell you that I have been ill for a long time, with various different problems. With pretty much all of these problems comes pain, & lots of it! It's horrible & there are lots of days that I'm unable to do much & it can even leave me bedridden. Not fun!
It's not all doom & gloom though, as over time I've also found some great ways to combat pain & side effects of illness. Whether it's headaches, stomach pain, back pain, joint pain, sickness & nausea or severe tiredness, there are ways I have found that can really help.
***As a little disclaimer I have to mention that this in no way is professional medical advice & that you should always check with your doctor if the problem persists or you are unsure of what to do.
1. Painkillers- a pretty obvious one. I am on alot of strong painkillers for some of my problems, & they do help. However, with painkillers, you can also get side effects. These include: drowsiness, irritability, addiction, allergies & may lead to further problems. It sounds old but you must always read the label to check it's ok for you- even if it has been prescribed (I am allergic to anti-inflammitory medicines & have been prescribed them by accident before!) It's also not a good idea to take over-the-counter medicines for more than a few days at a time- if a problem persists for more than 3 days then it's a good idea to see the doctor to rule out other problems.
2. Heat- this is a great one as it works on a variety of pain types. A hot bath can help soothe aching joints & a poorly tummy, as does a hot water bottle or cherry stone/wheat bag applied to the painful area (don't put a hot water bottle directly on your skin- wrap it in a towel first). It can also help in winter when you've got an icky cold or virus. Again, it sounds old but wrapping up warm really helps- instead of one big thick item of clothing, try layering lighter items- that way you can add or remove them for comfort!
3. Tiger Balm- a recent discovery for me & it has worked so well that I've ordered it in bulk from Amazon. You get two kinds- red or white, & it is available in a rub/balm or patch form that you apply to the affected area. I use the red Tiger Balm rub- simply rub a small amount into the painful area(s) & after 5-10 minutes you'll get a deep, cooling sensation which takes the pain away. I use it for everything- back & joint pain, muscular pain, neck pain, headaches & even stomach pain. Just keep it away from irritated or broken skin, eyes, nose & mouth.
4. Headache relief sticks & patches. These give a lovely cooling sensation to your forehead & help get rid of your headache- but don't get it near your eyes or put on broken or sensitive skin.
5. Massage & rubbing the area. They say your hands are your best tool & it's true. It might hurt at first but massaging painful areas really does help.
6. Light support or compression- this is great for painful joints. My arm is constantly immobilised due to a break not being treated 2 years ago. This left me with permanent damage & now my only option is surgery to fix it (more surgery- not fun). Sometimes immobilising the painful joint for a few hours or supporting it with a light compression bandage such as tubigrip or cohesive bandage can help the pain. However, you mustn't have the bandage too tight- if it cuts off the circulation or limbs look blue then take it off. Also, if the problem persists for more than 3 days then see a doctor- you can break bones without knowing!
So there we go- some pain relief tips! Hope you enjoyed reading & would love to know if any of these worked for you :)
**********************************************************************************************
For questions, suggestions, opinions and comments, email me at:
dollytrolley1994@gmail.com or post a comment below
Today I want to tell you about some of the ways that I deal with pain. If you read my blog then you will have heard me tell you that I have been ill for a long time, with various different problems. With pretty much all of these problems comes pain, & lots of it! It's horrible & there are lots of days that I'm unable to do much & it can even leave me bedridden. Not fun!
It's not all doom & gloom though, as over time I've also found some great ways to combat pain & side effects of illness. Whether it's headaches, stomach pain, back pain, joint pain, sickness & nausea or severe tiredness, there are ways I have found that can really help.
***As a little disclaimer I have to mention that this in no way is professional medical advice & that you should always check with your doctor if the problem persists or you are unsure of what to do.
1. Painkillers- a pretty obvious one. I am on alot of strong painkillers for some of my problems, & they do help. However, with painkillers, you can also get side effects. These include: drowsiness, irritability, addiction, allergies & may lead to further problems. It sounds old but you must always read the label to check it's ok for you- even if it has been prescribed (I am allergic to anti-inflammitory medicines & have been prescribed them by accident before!) It's also not a good idea to take over-the-counter medicines for more than a few days at a time- if a problem persists for more than 3 days then it's a good idea to see the doctor to rule out other problems.
2. Heat- this is a great one as it works on a variety of pain types. A hot bath can help soothe aching joints & a poorly tummy, as does a hot water bottle or cherry stone/wheat bag applied to the painful area (don't put a hot water bottle directly on your skin- wrap it in a towel first). It can also help in winter when you've got an icky cold or virus. Again, it sounds old but wrapping up warm really helps- instead of one big thick item of clothing, try layering lighter items- that way you can add or remove them for comfort!
3. Tiger Balm- a recent discovery for me & it has worked so well that I've ordered it in bulk from Amazon. You get two kinds- red or white, & it is available in a rub/balm or patch form that you apply to the affected area. I use the red Tiger Balm rub- simply rub a small amount into the painful area(s) & after 5-10 minutes you'll get a deep, cooling sensation which takes the pain away. I use it for everything- back & joint pain, muscular pain, neck pain, headaches & even stomach pain. Just keep it away from irritated or broken skin, eyes, nose & mouth.
4. Headache relief sticks & patches. These give a lovely cooling sensation to your forehead & help get rid of your headache- but don't get it near your eyes or put on broken or sensitive skin.
5. Massage & rubbing the area. They say your hands are your best tool & it's true. It might hurt at first but massaging painful areas really does help.
6. Light support or compression- this is great for painful joints. My arm is constantly immobilised due to a break not being treated 2 years ago. This left me with permanent damage & now my only option is surgery to fix it (more surgery- not fun). Sometimes immobilising the painful joint for a few hours or supporting it with a light compression bandage such as tubigrip or cohesive bandage can help the pain. However, you mustn't have the bandage too tight- if it cuts off the circulation or limbs look blue then take it off. Also, if the problem persists for more than 3 days then see a doctor- you can break bones without knowing!
So there we go- some pain relief tips! Hope you enjoyed reading & would love to know if any of these worked for you :)
**********************************************************************************************
For questions, suggestions, opinions and comments, email me at:
dollytrolley1994@gmail.com or post a comment below
Endometriosis- the next stage
Hi everyone,
Little update for you all today- got a phone call yesterday from the hospital saying that they've received an urgent referral through to the bowel surgeon- Mr Tyrone Carpenter, & he wants me to see him next Wednesday. This is a scary time for me. At my last weeks appointment with the gyneaocologist, she told me alot of things & phrases such as "bowel resection" "will likely need a stoma" "catheter" & "Long hospital stay" were used.
It also didn't help that she told me part of the reason they couldn't remove more of my endo last time is because my oxygen levels majorly dropped & there was a huge risk of me bleeding to death.
How I am feeling in general...
Still in a huge amount of pain most of the time. Nights are the worst. I get big headaches most days & my joints & back are often sore. I'm so tired most of the time too. My appetite is almost non-existent (although fresh fruit, small snacks & ice pops usually go down ok). Going to the loo isn't nice as it hurts! My bowels constantly feel gassy & full. I also struggle to breathe occasionally.
On the days when I feel up to it my other half takes me out for a bit- he's been incredible. Yes he spoils me (bought me a tablet this week- I burst into tears when I saw it) & buys me little treats to cheer me up. But he's also been my rock- rubbing Tiger Balm into my sore back & joints, sitting up on 'the night shift' when I'm having a bad time or can't sleep, & doing everything he possibly can to make my life easier. I love him ♡♥♡♥
Overall, although I feel physically CRAP I'm trying to stay positive. I joined a forum for Endometriosis sufferers last night & already have spoken to some lovely people. The forum is called Endometriosis UK & some of the stories & advice have been really helpful :)
Thanks for reading :)
**********************************************************************************************
For questions, suggestions, opinions & comments, email me at:
dollytrolley1994@gmail.com or comment below :)
Little update for you all today- got a phone call yesterday from the hospital saying that they've received an urgent referral through to the bowel surgeon- Mr Tyrone Carpenter, & he wants me to see him next Wednesday. This is a scary time for me. At my last weeks appointment with the gyneaocologist, she told me alot of things & phrases such as "bowel resection" "will likely need a stoma" "catheter" & "Long hospital stay" were used.
It also didn't help that she told me part of the reason they couldn't remove more of my endo last time is because my oxygen levels majorly dropped & there was a huge risk of me bleeding to death.
How I am feeling in general...
Still in a huge amount of pain most of the time. Nights are the worst. I get big headaches most days & my joints & back are often sore. I'm so tired most of the time too. My appetite is almost non-existent (although fresh fruit, small snacks & ice pops usually go down ok). Going to the loo isn't nice as it hurts! My bowels constantly feel gassy & full. I also struggle to breathe occasionally.
On the days when I feel up to it my other half takes me out for a bit- he's been incredible. Yes he spoils me (bought me a tablet this week- I burst into tears when I saw it) & buys me little treats to cheer me up. But he's also been my rock- rubbing Tiger Balm into my sore back & joints, sitting up on 'the night shift' when I'm having a bad time or can't sleep, & doing everything he possibly can to make my life easier. I love him ♡♥♡♥
Overall, although I feel physically CRAP I'm trying to stay positive. I joined a forum for Endometriosis sufferers last night & already have spoken to some lovely people. The forum is called Endometriosis UK & some of the stories & advice have been really helpful :)
Thanks for reading :)
**********************************************************************************************
For questions, suggestions, opinions & comments, email me at:
dollytrolley1994@gmail.com or comment below :)
Tuesday, 27 May 2014
Saving money
Hello everyone!
Today I've got some tips for you on saving money. Nowadays, life is expensive & we often find that payday can't come fast enough. At the beginning of this financial year (6th April) I decided I was going to see how much money I could save up in a year. So far it's going brilliant! I am nowhere near a pinchpenny or one of these "Super-Scrimpers" you see on telly, but I am pretty aware of my spending. So here are my ways that I have devised for saving up for a rainy day.
1. Budget. Work out what you NEED to spend every month & set it aside. Have some emergency money too for the unexpected, then the rest can go on what you want. We often make the mistake of "Impulse Buying" & find ourselves thinking that the £50 we've just spent on that super-cute, wear once & never to be seen again pair of shoes should have been spent on fuel. Treats are ok- just in moderation.
2. Look after the pennies... We are all guilty of going into a shop, buying something then just chucking the change in the charity tin. Obviously giving to charity is good (Help For Heroes, The Poppy Appeal & Cancer Reasearch are particular ones to me) But think about setting up a change pot. Every day, fish out the pennies from your pocket & put them in- it very quickly adds up. Since the 6th of April I've saved a shockingly large amount in change (I won't tell you how much- that will come in a years time). It's money you never knew you had- it might be a mess around but when you've got a large amount, count it up, bag it, take it to the bank & treat yourself!
3. Shop around. In one of my posts a couple of days ago I wrote that I was hacked off after discovering ways that supermarkets are ripping us off. Obviously supermarkets are convenient, but often you get alot less, not as good quality & more expensive than local businesses such as the butchers sell. So support your local businesses- it's better.
4. Do you really need it? Don't impulse buy- think about what you are buying before you hand over the cash. Unless you know you can afford it & you really want it then save your money- you'll be glad you did!
So there we go! Some top tips for saving money. Hope you all found this useful & I would love to know what you all think! Thanks for reading :)!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For questions, suggestions, opinions & comments, email me at:
dollytrolley1994@gmail.com
Today I've got some tips for you on saving money. Nowadays, life is expensive & we often find that payday can't come fast enough. At the beginning of this financial year (6th April) I decided I was going to see how much money I could save up in a year. So far it's going brilliant! I am nowhere near a pinchpenny or one of these "Super-Scrimpers" you see on telly, but I am pretty aware of my spending. So here are my ways that I have devised for saving up for a rainy day.
1. Budget. Work out what you NEED to spend every month & set it aside. Have some emergency money too for the unexpected, then the rest can go on what you want. We often make the mistake of "Impulse Buying" & find ourselves thinking that the £50 we've just spent on that super-cute, wear once & never to be seen again pair of shoes should have been spent on fuel. Treats are ok- just in moderation.
2. Look after the pennies... We are all guilty of going into a shop, buying something then just chucking the change in the charity tin. Obviously giving to charity is good (Help For Heroes, The Poppy Appeal & Cancer Reasearch are particular ones to me) But think about setting up a change pot. Every day, fish out the pennies from your pocket & put them in- it very quickly adds up. Since the 6th of April I've saved a shockingly large amount in change (I won't tell you how much- that will come in a years time). It's money you never knew you had- it might be a mess around but when you've got a large amount, count it up, bag it, take it to the bank & treat yourself!
3. Shop around. In one of my posts a couple of days ago I wrote that I was hacked off after discovering ways that supermarkets are ripping us off. Obviously supermarkets are convenient, but often you get alot less, not as good quality & more expensive than local businesses such as the butchers sell. So support your local businesses- it's better.
4. Do you really need it? Don't impulse buy- think about what you are buying before you hand over the cash. Unless you know you can afford it & you really want it then save your money- you'll be glad you did!
So there we go! Some top tips for saving money. Hope you all found this useful & I would love to know what you all think! Thanks for reading :)!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For questions, suggestions, opinions & comments, email me at:
dollytrolley1994@gmail.com
Monday, 26 May 2014
1 year & 6 months without Facebook
Hello everyone!
Got a post for you today on the last year & a half since I got rid of Facebook. This is a bit of a random one but I was inspired to write about it after seeing a question on Yahoo answers asking for advice on taking a break from social media.
So the story behind this is last January me & my fiance both made the decision to get rid of Facebook. This was for several reasons- neither of us spoke to a majority of the people on our friends lists, there were certain people who we just didn't want to be trying to contact us (I won't go into details but we both ended up having to change our phone numbers because of certain people who didn't understand "I don't want to speak to you- leave me alone") & we were both getting kind of tired of logging on & just seeing everyone airing their dirty laundry in public.
I know for most people now they couldn't live without their phones & social media, & some of you probably think I'm crazy. Thing is though for me, the minute I confirmed that I wanted to shut my profile down it was like a huge weight off my shoulders- I wasn't getting notifications every 5 seconds & my email wasn't being clogged up with games requests or friend suggestions.
Of course it wasn't easy to make my friends understand- as I had changed my number & just disappeared off of Facebook, I'd also been ill from college & a couple of weeks later when I went back they said stuff like "OMG we thought you'd moved away" or "Have you & your other half broken up because we've not been able to contact either of you". It got me thinking on just how much people rely on social media- gone are the days when people visit each other- they totally rely on Facebook & Twitter to keep up with eachothers lives.
Overall, I am glad I don't have Facebook anymore. I don't need it. This last year & a half has been proof of that.
Hope you found this interesting & I would love to know what you think! Thanks for reading :)!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For questions, suggestions, opinions & comments, email me at:
dollytrolley1994@gmail.com
Got a post for you today on the last year & a half since I got rid of Facebook. This is a bit of a random one but I was inspired to write about it after seeing a question on Yahoo answers asking for advice on taking a break from social media.
So the story behind this is last January me & my fiance both made the decision to get rid of Facebook. This was for several reasons- neither of us spoke to a majority of the people on our friends lists, there were certain people who we just didn't want to be trying to contact us (I won't go into details but we both ended up having to change our phone numbers because of certain people who didn't understand "I don't want to speak to you- leave me alone") & we were both getting kind of tired of logging on & just seeing everyone airing their dirty laundry in public.
I know for most people now they couldn't live without their phones & social media, & some of you probably think I'm crazy. Thing is though for me, the minute I confirmed that I wanted to shut my profile down it was like a huge weight off my shoulders- I wasn't getting notifications every 5 seconds & my email wasn't being clogged up with games requests or friend suggestions.
Of course it wasn't easy to make my friends understand- as I had changed my number & just disappeared off of Facebook, I'd also been ill from college & a couple of weeks later when I went back they said stuff like "OMG we thought you'd moved away" or "Have you & your other half broken up because we've not been able to contact either of you". It got me thinking on just how much people rely on social media- gone are the days when people visit each other- they totally rely on Facebook & Twitter to keep up with eachothers lives.
Overall, I am glad I don't have Facebook anymore. I don't need it. This last year & a half has been proof of that.
Hope you found this interesting & I would love to know what you think! Thanks for reading :)!
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For questions, suggestions, opinions & comments, email me at:
dollytrolley1994@gmail.com
Monday, 19 May 2014
Hayfever... lovely :(
Hello everyone!
Sorry it's been a while. As you all know I've been in & out of hospital after my laparoscopy & it's not been pleasant. Anyway, enough of that. Today I'm going to talk about hayfever. We're right in the middle of pollen season & millions of people are suffering from the stuffy nosed, watery eyed pain in the bum that is hayfever- me included.
At the moment I can't go out much, & when I do go out I can't wear my makeup as the instant I step outside it's panda eyes & snotty nose. Lovely. But over the last couple years I have also found some ways to combat this. These are all effective, simple ways that I have found that can really help to make hayfever symptoms that bit easier.
1. Try to avoid going outside when the pollen count is high. You can tell what your local pollen levels are going to be every day by checking your local weather forecast. They will be able to predict if the pollen levels are going to be low, medium or high so that you can plan accordingly.
2. Try to take antihistimines & allergy medication at least an hour before going outside. That way they have plenty of time to take effect. Hayfever tablets are better than they used to be as they don't usually make you drowsy but they still can so be careful if driving or operating machinery. I find that the cheaper tablets often work the same as the expensive ones so try & find what works for you.
3. Put a little vaseline around your nostrils. This helps to stop you inhaling pollen by trapping the particles before they have chance to get into your nose. It can also help to moisturise your skin if your nose is dry & sore from being runny.
4. Eye drops & nasal sprays. These are great for keeping your sinuses & eyes moist & prevent them being inflamed & itchy.
5. Wear sunglasses. Sunglasses or specs that wrap around your face can help stop pollen from entering your eyes.
6. Change clothes & shower after being outside. Pollen & dust becomes trapped in your clothes & hair, so washing your hair & clothes when you get home stops those particles from lingering & causing you further irritatation.
So there you have it. A few tips on how you can beat hayfever this summer & enjoy yourself. Hope this helped! Thanks for reading & I'd love to hear if this helped :)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For questions, suggestions, opinions & comments email me at
dollytrolley1994@gmail.com
Sorry it's been a while. As you all know I've been in & out of hospital after my laparoscopy & it's not been pleasant. Anyway, enough of that. Today I'm going to talk about hayfever. We're right in the middle of pollen season & millions of people are suffering from the stuffy nosed, watery eyed pain in the bum that is hayfever- me included.
At the moment I can't go out much, & when I do go out I can't wear my makeup as the instant I step outside it's panda eyes & snotty nose. Lovely. But over the last couple years I have also found some ways to combat this. These are all effective, simple ways that I have found that can really help to make hayfever symptoms that bit easier.
1. Try to avoid going outside when the pollen count is high. You can tell what your local pollen levels are going to be every day by checking your local weather forecast. They will be able to predict if the pollen levels are going to be low, medium or high so that you can plan accordingly.
2. Try to take antihistimines & allergy medication at least an hour before going outside. That way they have plenty of time to take effect. Hayfever tablets are better than they used to be as they don't usually make you drowsy but they still can so be careful if driving or operating machinery. I find that the cheaper tablets often work the same as the expensive ones so try & find what works for you.
3. Put a little vaseline around your nostrils. This helps to stop you inhaling pollen by trapping the particles before they have chance to get into your nose. It can also help to moisturise your skin if your nose is dry & sore from being runny.
4. Eye drops & nasal sprays. These are great for keeping your sinuses & eyes moist & prevent them being inflamed & itchy.
5. Wear sunglasses. Sunglasses or specs that wrap around your face can help stop pollen from entering your eyes.
6. Change clothes & shower after being outside. Pollen & dust becomes trapped in your clothes & hair, so washing your hair & clothes when you get home stops those particles from lingering & causing you further irritatation.
So there you have it. A few tips on how you can beat hayfever this summer & enjoy yourself. Hope this helped! Thanks for reading & I'd love to hear if this helped :)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For questions, suggestions, opinions & comments email me at
dollytrolley1994@gmail.com
Saturday, 26 April 2014
Respecting boundaries & approaching difficult subjects
Hello everyone!
Todays post is on respecting boundaries & approaching sensitive subjects. There are always going to be situations in life where things have the potential to go very wrong if not handled carefully (the types of situations I am referring to are things like relationship & communications between families, couples & friends). We are all guilty of handling things badly occasionaly, & as a result certain issues can go unresolved & even get worse.
Life isn't perfect. We're all at some stage going to have arguments with those around us. Whether it's family or friends not respecting your privacy, someone who wants everything their own way, your friends, family or partner not respecting your choices- you get the idea. I will be the first to admit that I don't take kindly to people pushing me about. After years of being bullied I have learnt to stand up for myself & how to approach situations, & I want to share some tips on how to avoid nasty confrontations & dealing with problems.
- Don't lose your temper. It sounds stupid but shouting & swearing doesn't fix a problem. If someone has upset you then think about what you want to say to them, don't just go in all guns blazing. Look them in the eye & tell them as calmly as you can that you don't like what they have said/done & tell them how it has made you feel.
- Be honest. If someone thinks they are doing something for your own good but you don't want them to then politely tell them you appreciate the gesture but you wish to do it your way.
- Think before you act. If someone is doing something in a way you think isn't right then don't just go in & take over or start telling them how to do it. Alot of the time what suits one person may not suit another & just because it's not the way you would do it doesn't mean it is wrong. In the event where what that person is doing could be harmful or detrimental to them or others then gently approach the subject & tell them your concerns- they may have no idea what they were doing was bad or wrong.
- Take a look at yourself before criticising others. We all have faults & being hypocritical is common- someone will happily criticize someone else whilst they themselves are also at fault or doing something wrong.
- Respect someones privacy. If they have asked you not to become involved then don't get offended- this is their problem/ issue/ decision & by involving yourself against their wishes or without asking them has the potential to cause problems. Equally, if someone is getting involved in things of yours that don't concern or affect them then politely but firmly tell them to please stay out & not get involved. If they continue then be firm (not rude) & tell them straight- "This is none of your business, please stay out of it".
- Be careful on bringing personal subjects up. If someone is doing something or behaving in an inappropriate way then they may not realise they are doing it. Examples of this could be embarrassing or inappropriate behaviour, offensive actions or behaviour, poor attitude, disrespectful or rude behaviour, poor personal hygeine or scruffy appearence that is detrimental to themselves and offensive to those around them, or things that they are doing that have the potential to cause them harm or get them bullied. Sit the person down on their own & tell them that you have concerns & ask them if they knew that there was a problem. Give them some friendly pointers on how to rectify the problem.
- Set boundaries. If someone is getting too close for comfort, trying to control things or generally not respecting your privacy or wishes then tell them honestly that you're uncomfortable with this & you would appreciate it if they just stepped back.
- Compromise. You can't always have your own way & equally you shouldn't just give in all of the time. Everyone is entitled to an opinion & you have to allow someone to put their opinions forward as well as having your say.
- Don't 'gang up' on someone or involve others. Two or more people against one person isn't fair & that person can feel outspoken or afraid to speak if people are ganging up on them.
- Speak for yourself. If someone has overstepped the mark then tell them how you feel yourself. Asking others to 'have a word' can make things worse & the truth can get twisted.
- Be honest. Lying or playing things down/up can make things worse. Equally, don't be nasty with the facts as this can really hurt the other person.
- Are they worth it? If someone repeatedly does things to upset, hurt or annoy you then it may be time to consider disassociating yourself from them or asking them to keep their distance. Tell them firmly that you don't want to be hurt anymore & if they won't stop then you don't want to be around them. If this isn't an option then you may have to involve someone who can stop that person from doing what they are doing.
So there we have it. This may not work for everyone but I hope this was useful. Thanks for reading :)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For questions, suggestions, comments & opinions email me at:
dollytrolley1994@gmail.com
Todays post is on respecting boundaries & approaching sensitive subjects. There are always going to be situations in life where things have the potential to go very wrong if not handled carefully (the types of situations I am referring to are things like relationship & communications between families, couples & friends). We are all guilty of handling things badly occasionaly, & as a result certain issues can go unresolved & even get worse.
Life isn't perfect. We're all at some stage going to have arguments with those around us. Whether it's family or friends not respecting your privacy, someone who wants everything their own way, your friends, family or partner not respecting your choices- you get the idea. I will be the first to admit that I don't take kindly to people pushing me about. After years of being bullied I have learnt to stand up for myself & how to approach situations, & I want to share some tips on how to avoid nasty confrontations & dealing with problems.
- Don't lose your temper. It sounds stupid but shouting & swearing doesn't fix a problem. If someone has upset you then think about what you want to say to them, don't just go in all guns blazing. Look them in the eye & tell them as calmly as you can that you don't like what they have said/done & tell them how it has made you feel.
- Be honest. If someone thinks they are doing something for your own good but you don't want them to then politely tell them you appreciate the gesture but you wish to do it your way.
- Think before you act. If someone is doing something in a way you think isn't right then don't just go in & take over or start telling them how to do it. Alot of the time what suits one person may not suit another & just because it's not the way you would do it doesn't mean it is wrong. In the event where what that person is doing could be harmful or detrimental to them or others then gently approach the subject & tell them your concerns- they may have no idea what they were doing was bad or wrong.
- Take a look at yourself before criticising others. We all have faults & being hypocritical is common- someone will happily criticize someone else whilst they themselves are also at fault or doing something wrong.
- Respect someones privacy. If they have asked you not to become involved then don't get offended- this is their problem/ issue/ decision & by involving yourself against their wishes or without asking them has the potential to cause problems. Equally, if someone is getting involved in things of yours that don't concern or affect them then politely but firmly tell them to please stay out & not get involved. If they continue then be firm (not rude) & tell them straight- "This is none of your business, please stay out of it".
- Be careful on bringing personal subjects up. If someone is doing something or behaving in an inappropriate way then they may not realise they are doing it. Examples of this could be embarrassing or inappropriate behaviour, offensive actions or behaviour, poor attitude, disrespectful or rude behaviour, poor personal hygeine or scruffy appearence that is detrimental to themselves and offensive to those around them, or things that they are doing that have the potential to cause them harm or get them bullied. Sit the person down on their own & tell them that you have concerns & ask them if they knew that there was a problem. Give them some friendly pointers on how to rectify the problem.
- Set boundaries. If someone is getting too close for comfort, trying to control things or generally not respecting your privacy or wishes then tell them honestly that you're uncomfortable with this & you would appreciate it if they just stepped back.
- Compromise. You can't always have your own way & equally you shouldn't just give in all of the time. Everyone is entitled to an opinion & you have to allow someone to put their opinions forward as well as having your say.
- Don't 'gang up' on someone or involve others. Two or more people against one person isn't fair & that person can feel outspoken or afraid to speak if people are ganging up on them.
- Speak for yourself. If someone has overstepped the mark then tell them how you feel yourself. Asking others to 'have a word' can make things worse & the truth can get twisted.
- Be honest. Lying or playing things down/up can make things worse. Equally, don't be nasty with the facts as this can really hurt the other person.
- Are they worth it? If someone repeatedly does things to upset, hurt or annoy you then it may be time to consider disassociating yourself from them or asking them to keep their distance. Tell them firmly that you don't want to be hurt anymore & if they won't stop then you don't want to be around them. If this isn't an option then you may have to involve someone who can stop that person from doing what they are doing.
So there we have it. This may not work for everyone but I hope this was useful. Thanks for reading :)
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For questions, suggestions, comments & opinions email me at:
dollytrolley1994@gmail.com
Saturday, 19 April 2014
Things to do when you're ill
Hello everyone!
Today I'm going to share with you some ways I occupy myself when I'm poorly & resting. In my last post I told you I'd had surgery & that I am in alot of pain. I'm on doctors orders to take it easy & get plenty of rest. Having been ill for a long time I know that sometimes it gets so boring not being able to get up & do stuff, but these are some great ways to occupy your time.
1. Learn a new skill. This can be anything you want (although if you've been told to rest maybe now isn't the best time to learn how to ride a unicycle). It might be something like taking an online course, learning to sew or knit, learn to touch type, learn a language... the list is endless.
2. Set yourself a project. This could be a craft project like origami, or maybe designing ideas for your dream house.
3. Get yourself some good DVD's & box sets. Got loads of programmes recorded on your sky+ box that you never had chance to watch? Watch them now! Any films or TV series you like or have wanted to see? Get the dvd's or find them on the likes of Netflix.
4. Read. Find a good book and lose yourself in it. It could be a novel, thriller, mystery or even a car manual! Whatever floats your boat.
5. Finish tasks that you never got round to. Respond to those unanswered emails, do that unfinished paperwork. Get round to making those calls. Whatever it is just get it done (obviously if you're on bed rest then maybe leave painting the spare bedroom or putting up the new fence) you'll feel a sense of freedom after getting them done.
6. Make plans. Plan a day out or a treat for when you feel better. If someone has been looking after you then arrange a surprise to say thankyou. Even write a bucket list of things you have always wanted to do.
7. Write. Start a blog, write a book. Write your own life story or about your experiences. Write a song or some poetry
8. Talk to people on the phone or online. Ring up your family & friends & have a good natter- invite them over for a cup of tea. You could re-kindle an old friendship or get a pen pal.
So there you have it. Hope you enjoyed this blog & hope it gave you some good ideas. Thanks for reading :)
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For questions, comments, opinions & suggestions email me at:
dollytrolley1994@gmail.com
Today I'm going to share with you some ways I occupy myself when I'm poorly & resting. In my last post I told you I'd had surgery & that I am in alot of pain. I'm on doctors orders to take it easy & get plenty of rest. Having been ill for a long time I know that sometimes it gets so boring not being able to get up & do stuff, but these are some great ways to occupy your time.
1. Learn a new skill. This can be anything you want (although if you've been told to rest maybe now isn't the best time to learn how to ride a unicycle). It might be something like taking an online course, learning to sew or knit, learn to touch type, learn a language... the list is endless.
2. Set yourself a project. This could be a craft project like origami, or maybe designing ideas for your dream house.
3. Get yourself some good DVD's & box sets. Got loads of programmes recorded on your sky+ box that you never had chance to watch? Watch them now! Any films or TV series you like or have wanted to see? Get the dvd's or find them on the likes of Netflix.
4. Read. Find a good book and lose yourself in it. It could be a novel, thriller, mystery or even a car manual! Whatever floats your boat.
5. Finish tasks that you never got round to. Respond to those unanswered emails, do that unfinished paperwork. Get round to making those calls. Whatever it is just get it done (obviously if you're on bed rest then maybe leave painting the spare bedroom or putting up the new fence) you'll feel a sense of freedom after getting them done.
6. Make plans. Plan a day out or a treat for when you feel better. If someone has been looking after you then arrange a surprise to say thankyou. Even write a bucket list of things you have always wanted to do.
7. Write. Start a blog, write a book. Write your own life story or about your experiences. Write a song or some poetry
8. Talk to people on the phone or online. Ring up your family & friends & have a good natter- invite them over for a cup of tea. You could re-kindle an old friendship or get a pen pal.
So there you have it. Hope you enjoyed this blog & hope it gave you some good ideas. Thanks for reading :)
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For questions, comments, opinions & suggestions email me at:
dollytrolley1994@gmail.com
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