It's been a while!!!

Hello everyone!

Wow, it's been a long time since I was on here last! I've been meaning to write an update for some time now but things have been unbelievably stressful & busy, & I just haven't had time. Alot has happened in the last few months, & I have had alot on my plate. Many things haven't gone as planned & there have been alot of unexpected things that have needed to be dealt with. So this is going to be a bit of a long one today as I update you on what has been happening!

Firstly, a health update. Things haven't been great health-wise, & I've been finding that I'm struggling more as time goes on. I'm finding that most of the time I'm exhausted by simple tasks, & pain will often stop me from doing things. For a while I've been trying to fight off a rather nasty kidney & urinary infection, & have had several courses of strong antibiotics, which haven't helped. My new GP has made the decision to refer me to a urologist, as he feels that this needs to be looked into. One of his concerns is that this could be endometriosis related. Due to the fact that I have already got endo on the outside of my bladder, he is worried that the endo could well have penetrated inside my bladder, & also possibly be spreading to my kidneys & urethral tubes.

I've got an appointment with the urologist in March (it was originally scheduled for this month but it clashed with another appointment). Hopefully this will lead to some answers. Secondly I've been given a referral to pain management. The purpose of this is mainly to discuss other ways that may help me to cope with the pain, such as nerve blocks, acupuncture & therapies. From a medication point of view, my GP & myself are happy that I am managing my medications fine, as even though I am on alot of very strong painkillers, that I know what works for me.

I've also been put back under the care of the bowel team, for further investigations & possible treatment. During the colonoscopy I had a few months ago, it was found that the endo had penetrated into my bowel. More tests are needed to see if there are any other problems lurking, & decisions need to be made on the best course of action.

In myself, as I said before, things seem to be taking it's toll. I've noticed my stomach hurts more, & this urinary/kidney infection has been taking its toll. Simple tasks tire me out & I often need to sleep for long periods of time.

As for a general life update, things have been pretty hectic. Sadly, for several reasons, me & my man had the hard decision of postponing the wedding. Because neither of us are very well, it was too much strain to deal with at the moment & we both decided to wait until things have calmed down. However we're still very happy together & I still feel very lucky to have him in my life.

Christmas was a very busy & stressful time. Over the actual Christmas period, we had a lovely week up North with my family, & visited all of our family members as well as making lots of memories. Christmas day was particularly important this year, as it was probably the last Christmas I would get to spend with my Granddad.

The big stressful part came after that week- we had to go & spend 2 weeks with my mans family, which neither of us enjoyed. I won't say much about it but needless to say there are certain things that really wound us both up, & some people need to realise that they are not the only ones with lives to lead! Much of the visit was tainted by nastiness, backstabbing, arguments & uncalled for behaviour, & getting home was a huge releif!

Now we are in 2015, most people have made their New Years Resolutions (& probably broken them). It sounds strange but this year I didn't make a New Years Resolution. This wasn't through fear of breaking it or not being able to carry it out, but because none of us can forsee what life has in store for us. I just want to be able to take things as they happen. I have plans for things I want to do, obviously, & with a bit of luck they will happen. But as 2014 proved to be unpredictable, I want to be able to just take things as they happen.

So there we have it! I hope you all had a lovely Christmas & here's to a happy new year!!!

Jes xxx

This weeks likes & dislikes

Hello everyone!!!

I am going to hopefully put out a few posts this week on various things, as hopefully I will have plenty of time to just chill this week. Today I am doing a likes & dislikes as it has been long since the last one!

There are alot of things that I am liking at the moment, & a few not so much! So without further ado, here they are :)

Like #1: Music- music is a huge part of my life. There is a song for every mood, every moment & I often wonder how different the world would be if music didn't exist. It has gotten me through the good & bad times, & there have been so many moments when a specific song has just completely summed up how I feel. One particular song that I just love is "Beneath your beautiful" by Labrinth & Emeli Sande. Labrinth's voice especially is incredible (the raspiness literally gives me chills) & the song meaning is fantastic- about being able to see what is really inside. Love it!

Like #2: Hot chocolate- Can't believe summer is over already! The days are getting colder (& wetter!) & already some shops are starting to advertise Christmas stuff! Mental! But seriously, I love hot chocolate. There is nothing better than sitting in front of the telly when it's cold outside, you've got a fluffy onesie on, something good to watch, & a big mug of hot chocolate with cream & marshmallows (calories, yes. But oh-so-yummy). Bliss.

Like #3: Chunky knit jumpers- Again, on an autumny/wintery theme, chunky knitted jumpers are an essential for me. I hate cold weather- I am one of these people who starts shivering at the slightest draught, & the cold affects my joints badly. This year I got a head start & bought myself some really cute, cosy knits. Not only will they keep me warm, they are also bang on-trend (think I'll do a haul post/video on this!) & I have one for every occasion.  My favourite is definitely a long, cream-coloured cable knit jumper-dress that I got on Amazon for the bargain price of £6.99!

Like #4: Home-made goodies- Nothing is more enjoyable than something home-made that you have put the effort into making, & it turning out even better than expected. A few weeks ago I made some preserved lemon & lime wedges (Everything tastes better with a bit of citrus!) & they turned out fantastic. I love putting them on fish, in pasta dishes or even just eaten on their own when you have those middle-of-the-night, only-salty/savoury-will-do cravings!

Like #5: Loom bands- I have become hooked on the latest craze now. For a few quid, there are hours of fun to be had & the colour combinations are endless. One thing I like about this craze is that it is just simple, cheap, creative fun for all ages & you don't have to bust the bank or be a super-creative, Pintrest-worthy genius to make some really pretty creations. I've got loads of colours now & just enjoy sitting & making them when I have a spare moment.

Dislike #1: The current obsession with zombies, apocalypses & the world ending- It's getting to the point where you can't even switch on the TV without there being something zombie/apocalypse/world-ending related. It's doing my head in. Why is everyone so obsessed with miserable, morbid things nowadays?

Dislike #2: The soap storylines- On another TV theme, I have completely stopped watching the soaps. Some of the storylines are just so far fetched & they drag on to the point of being completely unrealistic. Also, why is everyone always so miserable in soapland? No wonder the ratings are dropping.

Dislike #3: Dirty people- There is nothing worse than being on a bus or out in public & being near someone who doesn't wash. I ended up leaving a queue in the supermarket & moving to a different one due to one such person stood in front of me. Also, it really bothers me when you see someone happily coughing & sneezing everywhere without covering their mouth & nose. Yuck!

Dislike #4: Warm, damp weather- I don't know why but lately it seems that the air is constantly all horribly hot & sticky. We haven't had alot of rain so that may be why, but either way it's horrible.

Dislike #5: Judgemental people- This one is based on an incident that happened this week. Not going into detail but someone rather upset me this week. They very rudely said "Oi, you can't use that, it's for disabled people, not just anyone..." whilst I was holding my rather annoyed fiance back (annoyed is an understatement) I politely informed them that in fact I was disabled. Then they turned round & said "Well what's wrong with you? You're not in a wheelchair". So I simply told them that 1) Not all disabled people are in wheelchairs & 2) That I didn't have to justify myself to them or owe them an explanation.  An old man who was watching this turned round to this person & said "I suggest you stop being such an interfering nosy parker & go home & educate yourself. Just because you can't see what's wrong doesn't give you the right to judge". The person needless to say walked very quickly away with a red face & their tail between their legs. I thanked the man & he told me "Don't worry love, some people are just morons". This incident upset me though- it just goes to show how ignorant some people are, & they need to think more before they speak.

So there you have it. Hope you all enjoyed reading. Does anyone have any likes or dislikes they want to share? Post in the comments below :) Have a lovely week :) xxx
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For questions, suggestions, opinions & comments, feel free to post below or email me at:
dollytrolley1994@gmail.com

Endometriosis- an update

Hello everyone,

So as some of you may have seen in previous posts, I had a meeting with the bowel & endo specialist on Wednesday (The same one who during our last meeting was totally unhelpful & was the cause of that very depressing post I wrote after). I did not hold out much hope for this second meeting- & it turns out I was right not to. The only reason I was seeing him was because my GP had written a strongly worded letter telling him that I needed to be treated properly.

I am not a medical professional but I know when I am being fobbed off. He obviously hadn't read the report from my surgery as he commented "Well it can't be the endometriosis causing the problem as we did remove some of it & it obviously hasn't helped". No, they removed a tiny amount for biopsy as it was TOO DANGEROUS to remove more (due to bleeding, my oxygen levels dropping ect). He avoided discussing my questions (such as what treatment is there?) & told me he was just going to refer me back to my GP who could decide my treatment. What a nice, helpful doctor!

So meantime I am stuck with no end of problems, I am not ovulating so I don't even know if I can have kids, I am in constant pain & now have the stress of waiting. I know my GP will not be happy with the way I have been treated by this particular doctor (again!). She has been fantastic through all of this, & I know she will do everything possible to get me the treatment I need. But in the meantime I am still suffering & it isn't fair.

On a more cheerful note at least now I can say that hopefully I will be referred to somewhere that I can actually get treated, & until then I will keep my chin up. I am still pretty poorly from my chest infection, but it is very slowly getting better (finally!) & am just taking each day as it comes.

On a slightly different note I want to say thankyou to someone. I am a member of the Health Unlocked Endometriosis UK support forum. Its basically a page where women who suffer from endometriosis can go to get advice, share experiences & generally support each other. I won't mention names but there is one particular person who I have been chatting to for a while now, & consider her a friend. Every day I always get a message asking how I am & how I am feeling, & its just nice to be able to chat, talk through the ups & downs, & to help eachother out. So thankyou :)

Hope you all have a good week. I'm doing a few new posts this week so watch this space! Thanks for reading! Xxx

A very busy month!!!

Hello lovelies!!!

It's been almost a month since my last post, but this isn't down to laziness,  I promise :)
The last few weeks have been crazy busy- birthdays, endless hospital appointments, travelling & some personal changes. It's not been easy- & I'm hoping that this next few weeks will see things slow down as I am absolutely exhausted.

So the first thing is I turned 20 a couple of weeks ago. This for me was kind of a big deal as it really bought home just how fast time passes. 2 days before my birthday I was worried that I'd be in hospital for my 20th as I ended up being rushed to A&E with chest pains again (I got released the next day being told it might be the endometriosis spreading to my chest & that I needed to go back & see the consultant as soon as possible). My birthday itself was nice- just a small party with family & friends. I went up North to my grandparent's that weekend & had a nice shopping spree in Liverpool (more about that in another post!).

The second thing is all of the hospital appointments- I am having hand therapy at the moment & have 1 session per week. Me & the hand therapist have both agreed that I'm not benefitting from it, but I want to go through with it so that I can at least tell the consultant I tried. It is a shame as I was hoping it would help, & I am really now hoping that the hand consultant will be able to do something. I've also had various other appointments- general checkups, blood tests, medication reviews ect... the list goes on.

I have received an appointment to see the bowel specialist again on the 3rd of September (let's hope that this time he will actually try to help me instead of fobbing me off!) It rather annoyed me when the hospital rang to offer me the appointment though, as they told me on the phone that there was no record of him having the previous appointment with me (no notes from clinic, not even the supposed refferal to pain management which he tried to fob me off with). There was also no record of him having received or reviewed my laparoscopy results- as you can imagine I was fuming. This was the same man who sat there & told me he didn't want to treat me & was just going to send me to pain management! The lady on the phone was sympathetic & agreed that it was appauling- for someone who has stage 4 endometriosis, they should be doing alot more to ensure I get the correct treatment & help.

Rant over anyway! A couple of other changes have taken place too. Just before my birthday I made the decision to cut my hair short again. It was a hard choice but necessary- I have very thick hair & having it long meant it took alot of looking after. This wasn't always easy, especially when I'm not well & no matter how many times I brushed it it always seemed to turn into a mass of knots. So off it came. However I wasn't too upset as I went back to my old style- a cute & femenine Rhianna-style cut. I also went from bleached blonde to a lovely soft bluey-black so overall I'm happy. The second change is I've had another tattoo, but there will be more about that in a later post so for now my lips are sealed! Needless to say I am going to be tackling some of the issues surrounding tattoos so watch this space!

So, an overall very busy month. Like I said, I am hoping things will start to calm down & I am currently working on a few new posts full of exciting things, which I will post over the next few days. Until then, thanks for reading :) Xxx

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For questions, suggestions, opinions & comments, feel free to either comment below or email me at:
dollytrolley1994@gmail.com

Endometriosis: the next stage- scary times

Hello everyone!

In my last post I think I spoke a bit too soon when I said things were a bit better. On Tuesday 1st of July I had been feeling pretty rough all day. Part of the problem I am now having with my endometriosis is horrible sharp pain in my belly button that feels like I am being ripped open. I've also been having alot of chest pain which leaves me struggling to breathe & making my heart rate increase.

By about 10pm I couldn't stand the pain anymore, I was sweating & feeling pretty chilly & I couldn't breathe very well, so called NHS 111 (the out of hours GP service). Next thing I know the lady on the phone said an ambulance was on its way, mainly because she was very concerned that I was having chest pains. When the ambulance arrived they were pretty worried because my blood pressure was quite high & I had a fever. They took me to A&E & I was really scared at this point. I was hooked up to monitors & drips & I was just in so much pain.

After hours of waiting, blood tests, 2 chest xrays, several ECG's & monitoring, they told me that there was no infection lurking, & there were no obvious problems like clots, bleeding, heart issues or blockages. The doctor was concerned because (warning- TMI!) my bowels looked very full (odd because I wasn't constipated). They kept me in on the observation ward & gave me morphine overnight. In the morning the gynaecologist came to see me & said that they'd probably keep me in again.

She told me that one of the problems they were having was that because I was being treated at a different hospital for my endo, that there wasn't alot they could do. I explained to her what had happened when I had previously been to see the "Bowel specialist" & she told me that it sounded like he was trying to fob me off & that I needed to see the GP to get a second opinion.

The only thing the gynae team at my local hospital could really offer me was contraceptive treatment & pain releif as they didn't have any of my laparoscopy or diagnosis report. I had already discussed contraceptive & hormone treatment with my other half & it wasn't a viable option as I have hormone problems & last time I was on the pill it made things worse.

I asked her if she was able to give me some pain relief so I could go home, & although she was still concerned she agreed, telling me I must go to my GP that week to get a referral to a specialist endo centre, & that I must come back if things got worse.

I spent the rest of the week sleeping & in alot of pain. When I saw the GP on Friday she was really shocked about what the bowel specialist had said & that there was no way this could just be left. She also told me that as well as having endo on my bowels, uterus & rectum, it was also spreading to my bladder & that I had alot of scarring & endo in the Pouch of Douglas (the area between my rectum & vagina). She also said that the report showed alot of scarring & adhesions.

The GP has now referred me to a specialist endo centre in Southampton so I'm waiting for an appointment. I really hope that things start to move forward now, as this has been going on for a long time now. Other than that I am trying to keep positive & hopeful that they can help me.

Thanks for reading :)
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For questions, suggestions, opinions & comments,  email me at:
dollytrolley1994@gmail.com

Endometriosis- the next stage

Hi everyone,

Little update for you all today- got a phone call yesterday from the hospital saying that they've received an urgent referral through to the bowel surgeon- Mr Tyrone Carpenter, & he wants me to see him next Wednesday. This is a scary time for me. At my last weeks appointment with the gyneaocologist, she told me alot of things & phrases such as "bowel resection" "will likely need a stoma" "catheter" & "Long hospital stay" were used.

It also didn't help that she told me part of the reason they couldn't remove more of my endo last time is because my oxygen levels majorly dropped & there was a huge risk of me bleeding to death.

How I am feeling in general...
Still in a huge amount of pain most of the time. Nights are the worst. I get big headaches most days & my joints & back are often sore. I'm so tired most of the time too. My appetite is almost non-existent (although fresh fruit, small snacks & ice pops usually go down ok). Going to the loo isn't nice as it hurts! My bowels constantly feel gassy & full. I also struggle to breathe occasionally.

On the days when I feel up to it my other half takes me out for a bit- he's been incredible. Yes he spoils me (bought me a tablet this week- I burst into tears when I saw it) & buys me little treats to cheer me up. But he's also been my rock- rubbing Tiger Balm into my sore back & joints, sitting up on 'the night shift' when I'm having a bad time or can't sleep, & doing everything he possibly can to make my life easier. I love him ♡♥♡♥

Overall, although I feel physically CRAP I'm trying to stay positive. I joined a forum for Endometriosis sufferers last night & already have spoken to some lovely people. The forum is called Endometriosis UK & some of the stories & advice have been really helpful :)

Thanks for reading :)
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For questions, suggestions, opinions & comments, email me at:
dollytrolley1994@gmail.com or comment below :)

These are a few of my favourite things ♡ ♥♡♥

Hello everyone!

So today I thought I would share some of my favourite things with you. Obviously aside from my wonderful man & my family, I've made a list of some of the top things that make me smile.

1) My engagement ring- this is a no brainer, any girl would love a massive solitare diamond  gold ring with shoulders set with 3 diamonds on each side, but to me it's so much more. It's  a symbol of how much me & my man love eachother (not to mention that I cried my bloody eyes out when he proposed- in the middle of a restaurant!)

2) Flowers- I adore all flowers, but my particular favourites are bluebells, forget-me-nots & daffodils. They're so beautiful & vibrant & there's something so cheering aboit them.

3) Baby animals. I've never come across anyone yet who doesn't smile at baby animals. Puppies, kittens, bunnies, chicks- all baby animals are so cute (& most adult ones too). They never fail to make me smile.

4) Music. I like so many different kinds of music & I know it sounds weird but it's helped me get through some of the darkest times in my life & there are certain songs which really help lift my mood.

So there we go! A few of my favourite things. Hope you enjoyed reading & I would love to know what you think :)

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For questions, suggestions, opions & comments, email me at:
dollytrolley1994@gmail.com

Smiling through it

Hello everyone!

Last week I did a post telling you I'd had surgery. Since the surgery I've been rather sore & a bit grumpy (a bit of infection didn't exactly help either). But we have also had some smiles this week which cheered me up. So I just wanted to give you a quick list of stuff that might make you (or someone you know) smile when things aren't so peachy.

1. A bit of TLC goes a long way. My other half has been amazing this week- helping me to do stuff, looking after me & making sure everything else gets done. But he's also been there to give me hugs, make me laugh & make sure things were as comfortable as possible. Sometimes, just having someone to cheer you up, listen to you or comfort you can make a world of difference.

2. Laughter is the best medicine. Whether it's something funny on TV, a joke or a funny picture, cracking a smile can make you feel alot better.

3. Treat yourself. We all need a pick-me up occasionally. It doesn't have to be a massive splurge- sometimes it can be something as simple as getting your favourite foods in or a relaxed night with your favourite film & a hot chocolate.

4. Find something to take your mind off of it. This obviously doesn't solve the problem but sometimes a distraction can take your mind off of whatever it is- leaving you more relaxed & less stressed.

So there you have it! Thanks for reading & I hope this helped :)

Keep smiling :) :) :)
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For questions, suggestions, comments & opinions, email me at:
dollytrolley1994@gmail.com

Things to do when you're ill

Hello everyone!

Today I'm going to share with you some ways I occupy myself when I'm poorly & resting. In my last post I told you I'd had surgery & that I am in alot of pain. I'm on doctors orders to take it easy & get plenty of rest. Having been ill for a long time I know that sometimes it gets so boring not being able to get up & do stuff, but these are some great ways to occupy your time.

1. Learn a new skill. This can be anything you want (although if you've been told to rest maybe now isn't the best time to learn how to ride a unicycle). It might be something like taking an online course, learning to sew or knit, learn to touch type, learn a language... the list is endless.

2. Set yourself a project. This could be a craft project like origami, or maybe designing ideas for your dream house.

3. Get yourself some good DVD's & box sets. Got loads of programmes recorded on your sky+ box that you never had chance to watch? Watch them now! Any films or TV series you like or have wanted to see? Get the dvd's or find them on the likes of Netflix.

4. Read. Find a good book and lose yourself in it. It could be a novel, thriller, mystery or even a car manual! Whatever floats your boat.

5. Finish tasks that you never got round to. Respond to those unanswered emails, do that unfinished paperwork. Get round to making those calls. Whatever it is just get it done (obviously if you're on bed rest then maybe leave painting the spare bedroom or putting up the new fence) you'll feel a sense of freedom after getting them done.

6. Make plans. Plan a day out or a treat for when you feel better. If someone has been looking after you then arrange a surprise to say thankyou. Even write a bucket list of things you have always wanted to do.

7. Write. Start a blog, write a book. Write your own life story or about your experiences. Write a song or some poetry

8. Talk to people on the phone or online. Ring up your family & friends & have a good natter- invite them over for a cup of tea. You could re-kindle an old friendship or get a pen pal.

So there you have it. Hope you enjoyed this blog & hope it gave you some good ideas. Thanks for reading :)
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For questions, comments, opinions & suggestions email me at:

dollytrolley1994@gmail.com