It's been a while!!!

Hello everyone!

Wow, it's been a long time since I was on here last! I've been meaning to write an update for some time now but things have been unbelievably stressful & busy, & I just haven't had time. Alot has happened in the last few months, & I have had alot on my plate. Many things haven't gone as planned & there have been alot of unexpected things that have needed to be dealt with. So this is going to be a bit of a long one today as I update you on what has been happening!

Firstly, a health update. Things haven't been great health-wise, & I've been finding that I'm struggling more as time goes on. I'm finding that most of the time I'm exhausted by simple tasks, & pain will often stop me from doing things. For a while I've been trying to fight off a rather nasty kidney & urinary infection, & have had several courses of strong antibiotics, which haven't helped. My new GP has made the decision to refer me to a urologist, as he feels that this needs to be looked into. One of his concerns is that this could be endometriosis related. Due to the fact that I have already got endo on the outside of my bladder, he is worried that the endo could well have penetrated inside my bladder, & also possibly be spreading to my kidneys & urethral tubes.

I've got an appointment with the urologist in March (it was originally scheduled for this month but it clashed with another appointment). Hopefully this will lead to some answers. Secondly I've been given a referral to pain management. The purpose of this is mainly to discuss other ways that may help me to cope with the pain, such as nerve blocks, acupuncture & therapies. From a medication point of view, my GP & myself are happy that I am managing my medications fine, as even though I am on alot of very strong painkillers, that I know what works for me.

I've also been put back under the care of the bowel team, for further investigations & possible treatment. During the colonoscopy I had a few months ago, it was found that the endo had penetrated into my bowel. More tests are needed to see if there are any other problems lurking, & decisions need to be made on the best course of action.

In myself, as I said before, things seem to be taking it's toll. I've noticed my stomach hurts more, & this urinary/kidney infection has been taking its toll. Simple tasks tire me out & I often need to sleep for long periods of time.

As for a general life update, things have been pretty hectic. Sadly, for several reasons, me & my man had the hard decision of postponing the wedding. Because neither of us are very well, it was too much strain to deal with at the moment & we both decided to wait until things have calmed down. However we're still very happy together & I still feel very lucky to have him in my life.

Christmas was a very busy & stressful time. Over the actual Christmas period, we had a lovely week up North with my family, & visited all of our family members as well as making lots of memories. Christmas day was particularly important this year, as it was probably the last Christmas I would get to spend with my Granddad.

The big stressful part came after that week- we had to go & spend 2 weeks with my mans family, which neither of us enjoyed. I won't say much about it but needless to say there are certain things that really wound us both up, & some people need to realise that they are not the only ones with lives to lead! Much of the visit was tainted by nastiness, backstabbing, arguments & uncalled for behaviour, & getting home was a huge releif!

Now we are in 2015, most people have made their New Years Resolutions (& probably broken them). It sounds strange but this year I didn't make a New Years Resolution. This wasn't through fear of breaking it or not being able to carry it out, but because none of us can forsee what life has in store for us. I just want to be able to take things as they happen. I have plans for things I want to do, obviously, & with a bit of luck they will happen. But as 2014 proved to be unpredictable, I want to be able to just take things as they happen.

So there we have it! I hope you all had a lovely Christmas & here's to a happy new year!!!

Jes xxx

This weeks likes & dislikes

Hello everyone!!!

I am going to hopefully put out a few posts this week on various things, as hopefully I will have plenty of time to just chill this week. Today I am doing a likes & dislikes as it has been long since the last one!

There are alot of things that I am liking at the moment, & a few not so much! So without further ado, here they are :)

Like #1: Music- music is a huge part of my life. There is a song for every mood, every moment & I often wonder how different the world would be if music didn't exist. It has gotten me through the good & bad times, & there have been so many moments when a specific song has just completely summed up how I feel. One particular song that I just love is "Beneath your beautiful" by Labrinth & Emeli Sande. Labrinth's voice especially is incredible (the raspiness literally gives me chills) & the song meaning is fantastic- about being able to see what is really inside. Love it!

Like #2: Hot chocolate- Can't believe summer is over already! The days are getting colder (& wetter!) & already some shops are starting to advertise Christmas stuff! Mental! But seriously, I love hot chocolate. There is nothing better than sitting in front of the telly when it's cold outside, you've got a fluffy onesie on, something good to watch, & a big mug of hot chocolate with cream & marshmallows (calories, yes. But oh-so-yummy). Bliss.

Like #3: Chunky knit jumpers- Again, on an autumny/wintery theme, chunky knitted jumpers are an essential for me. I hate cold weather- I am one of these people who starts shivering at the slightest draught, & the cold affects my joints badly. This year I got a head start & bought myself some really cute, cosy knits. Not only will they keep me warm, they are also bang on-trend (think I'll do a haul post/video on this!) & I have one for every occasion.  My favourite is definitely a long, cream-coloured cable knit jumper-dress that I got on Amazon for the bargain price of £6.99!

Like #4: Home-made goodies- Nothing is more enjoyable than something home-made that you have put the effort into making, & it turning out even better than expected. A few weeks ago I made some preserved lemon & lime wedges (Everything tastes better with a bit of citrus!) & they turned out fantastic. I love putting them on fish, in pasta dishes or even just eaten on their own when you have those middle-of-the-night, only-salty/savoury-will-do cravings!

Like #5: Loom bands- I have become hooked on the latest craze now. For a few quid, there are hours of fun to be had & the colour combinations are endless. One thing I like about this craze is that it is just simple, cheap, creative fun for all ages & you don't have to bust the bank or be a super-creative, Pintrest-worthy genius to make some really pretty creations. I've got loads of colours now & just enjoy sitting & making them when I have a spare moment.

Dislike #1: The current obsession with zombies, apocalypses & the world ending- It's getting to the point where you can't even switch on the TV without there being something zombie/apocalypse/world-ending related. It's doing my head in. Why is everyone so obsessed with miserable, morbid things nowadays?

Dislike #2: The soap storylines- On another TV theme, I have completely stopped watching the soaps. Some of the storylines are just so far fetched & they drag on to the point of being completely unrealistic. Also, why is everyone always so miserable in soapland? No wonder the ratings are dropping.

Dislike #3: Dirty people- There is nothing worse than being on a bus or out in public & being near someone who doesn't wash. I ended up leaving a queue in the supermarket & moving to a different one due to one such person stood in front of me. Also, it really bothers me when you see someone happily coughing & sneezing everywhere without covering their mouth & nose. Yuck!

Dislike #4: Warm, damp weather- I don't know why but lately it seems that the air is constantly all horribly hot & sticky. We haven't had alot of rain so that may be why, but either way it's horrible.

Dislike #5: Judgemental people- This one is based on an incident that happened this week. Not going into detail but someone rather upset me this week. They very rudely said "Oi, you can't use that, it's for disabled people, not just anyone..." whilst I was holding my rather annoyed fiance back (annoyed is an understatement) I politely informed them that in fact I was disabled. Then they turned round & said "Well what's wrong with you? You're not in a wheelchair". So I simply told them that 1) Not all disabled people are in wheelchairs & 2) That I didn't have to justify myself to them or owe them an explanation.  An old man who was watching this turned round to this person & said "I suggest you stop being such an interfering nosy parker & go home & educate yourself. Just because you can't see what's wrong doesn't give you the right to judge". The person needless to say walked very quickly away with a red face & their tail between their legs. I thanked the man & he told me "Don't worry love, some people are just morons". This incident upset me though- it just goes to show how ignorant some people are, & they need to think more before they speak.

So there you have it. Hope you all enjoyed reading. Does anyone have any likes or dislikes they want to share? Post in the comments below :) Have a lovely week :) xxx
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For questions, suggestions, opinions & comments, feel free to post below or email me at:
dollytrolley1994@gmail.com

Endometriosis- an update

Hello everyone,

So as some of you may have seen in previous posts, I had a meeting with the bowel & endo specialist on Wednesday (The same one who during our last meeting was totally unhelpful & was the cause of that very depressing post I wrote after). I did not hold out much hope for this second meeting- & it turns out I was right not to. The only reason I was seeing him was because my GP had written a strongly worded letter telling him that I needed to be treated properly.

I am not a medical professional but I know when I am being fobbed off. He obviously hadn't read the report from my surgery as he commented "Well it can't be the endometriosis causing the problem as we did remove some of it & it obviously hasn't helped". No, they removed a tiny amount for biopsy as it was TOO DANGEROUS to remove more (due to bleeding, my oxygen levels dropping ect). He avoided discussing my questions (such as what treatment is there?) & told me he was just going to refer me back to my GP who could decide my treatment. What a nice, helpful doctor!

So meantime I am stuck with no end of problems, I am not ovulating so I don't even know if I can have kids, I am in constant pain & now have the stress of waiting. I know my GP will not be happy with the way I have been treated by this particular doctor (again!). She has been fantastic through all of this, & I know she will do everything possible to get me the treatment I need. But in the meantime I am still suffering & it isn't fair.

On a more cheerful note at least now I can say that hopefully I will be referred to somewhere that I can actually get treated, & until then I will keep my chin up. I am still pretty poorly from my chest infection, but it is very slowly getting better (finally!) & am just taking each day as it comes.

On a slightly different note I want to say thankyou to someone. I am a member of the Health Unlocked Endometriosis UK support forum. Its basically a page where women who suffer from endometriosis can go to get advice, share experiences & generally support each other. I won't mention names but there is one particular person who I have been chatting to for a while now, & consider her a friend. Every day I always get a message asking how I am & how I am feeling, & its just nice to be able to chat, talk through the ups & downs, & to help eachother out. So thankyou :)

Hope you all have a good week. I'm doing a few new posts this week so watch this space! Thanks for reading! Xxx

A very busy month!!!

Hello lovelies!!!

It's been almost a month since my last post, but this isn't down to laziness,  I promise :)
The last few weeks have been crazy busy- birthdays, endless hospital appointments, travelling & some personal changes. It's not been easy- & I'm hoping that this next few weeks will see things slow down as I am absolutely exhausted.

So the first thing is I turned 20 a couple of weeks ago. This for me was kind of a big deal as it really bought home just how fast time passes. 2 days before my birthday I was worried that I'd be in hospital for my 20th as I ended up being rushed to A&E with chest pains again (I got released the next day being told it might be the endometriosis spreading to my chest & that I needed to go back & see the consultant as soon as possible). My birthday itself was nice- just a small party with family & friends. I went up North to my grandparent's that weekend & had a nice shopping spree in Liverpool (more about that in another post!).

The second thing is all of the hospital appointments- I am having hand therapy at the moment & have 1 session per week. Me & the hand therapist have both agreed that I'm not benefitting from it, but I want to go through with it so that I can at least tell the consultant I tried. It is a shame as I was hoping it would help, & I am really now hoping that the hand consultant will be able to do something. I've also had various other appointments- general checkups, blood tests, medication reviews ect... the list goes on.

I have received an appointment to see the bowel specialist again on the 3rd of September (let's hope that this time he will actually try to help me instead of fobbing me off!) It rather annoyed me when the hospital rang to offer me the appointment though, as they told me on the phone that there was no record of him having the previous appointment with me (no notes from clinic, not even the supposed refferal to pain management which he tried to fob me off with). There was also no record of him having received or reviewed my laparoscopy results- as you can imagine I was fuming. This was the same man who sat there & told me he didn't want to treat me & was just going to send me to pain management! The lady on the phone was sympathetic & agreed that it was appauling- for someone who has stage 4 endometriosis, they should be doing alot more to ensure I get the correct treatment & help.

Rant over anyway! A couple of other changes have taken place too. Just before my birthday I made the decision to cut my hair short again. It was a hard choice but necessary- I have very thick hair & having it long meant it took alot of looking after. This wasn't always easy, especially when I'm not well & no matter how many times I brushed it it always seemed to turn into a mass of knots. So off it came. However I wasn't too upset as I went back to my old style- a cute & femenine Rhianna-style cut. I also went from bleached blonde to a lovely soft bluey-black so overall I'm happy. The second change is I've had another tattoo, but there will be more about that in a later post so for now my lips are sealed! Needless to say I am going to be tackling some of the issues surrounding tattoos so watch this space!

So, an overall very busy month. Like I said, I am hoping things will start to calm down & I am currently working on a few new posts full of exciting things, which I will post over the next few days. Until then, thanks for reading :) Xxx

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For questions, suggestions, opinions & comments, feel free to either comment below or email me at:
dollytrolley1994@gmail.com

These are a few of my favourite things ♡ ♥♡♥

Hello everyone!

So today I thought I would share some of my favourite things with you. Obviously aside from my wonderful man & my family, I've made a list of some of the top things that make me smile.

1) My engagement ring- this is a no brainer, any girl would love a massive solitare diamond  gold ring with shoulders set with 3 diamonds on each side, but to me it's so much more. It's  a symbol of how much me & my man love eachother (not to mention that I cried my bloody eyes out when he proposed- in the middle of a restaurant!)

2) Flowers- I adore all flowers, but my particular favourites are bluebells, forget-me-nots & daffodils. They're so beautiful & vibrant & there's something so cheering aboit them.

3) Baby animals. I've never come across anyone yet who doesn't smile at baby animals. Puppies, kittens, bunnies, chicks- all baby animals are so cute (& most adult ones too). They never fail to make me smile.

4) Music. I like so many different kinds of music & I know it sounds weird but it's helped me get through some of the darkest times in my life & there are certain songs which really help lift my mood.

So there we go! A few of my favourite things. Hope you enjoyed reading & I would love to know what you think :)

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For questions, suggestions, opions & comments, email me at:
dollytrolley1994@gmail.com

1 year & 6 months without Facebook

Hello everyone!

Got a post for you today on the last year & a half since I got rid of Facebook. This is a bit of a random one but I was inspired to write about it after seeing a question on Yahoo answers asking for advice on taking a break from social media.

So the story behind this is last January me & my fiance both made the decision to get rid of Facebook. This was for several reasons- neither of us spoke to a majority of the people on our friends lists, there were certain people who we just didn't want to be trying to contact us (I won't go into details but we both ended up having to change our phone numbers because of certain people who didn't understand "I don't want to speak to you- leave me alone") & we were both getting kind of tired of logging on & just seeing everyone airing their dirty laundry in public.

I know for most people now they couldn't live without their phones & social media, & some of you probably think I'm crazy. Thing is though for me, the minute I confirmed that I wanted to shut my profile down it was like a huge weight off my shoulders- I wasn't getting notifications every 5 seconds & my email wasn't being clogged up with games requests or friend suggestions.

Of course it wasn't easy to make my friends understand- as I had changed my number & just disappeared off of Facebook, I'd also been ill from college & a couple of weeks later when I went back they said stuff like "OMG we thought you'd moved away" or "Have you & your other half broken up because we've not been able to contact either of you". It got me thinking on just how much people rely on social media- gone are the days when people visit each other- they totally rely on Facebook & Twitter to keep up with eachothers lives.

Overall, I am glad I don't have Facebook anymore. I don't need it. This last year & a half has been proof of that.

Hope you found this interesting & I would love to know what you think! Thanks for reading :)!

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For questions, suggestions, opinions & comments, email me at:
dollytrolley1994@gmail.com

Respecting boundaries & approaching difficult subjects

Hello everyone!

Todays post is on respecting boundaries & approaching sensitive subjects. There are always going to be situations in life where things have the potential to go very wrong if not handled carefully (the types of situations I am referring to are things like relationship & communications between families, couples & friends). We are all guilty of handling things badly occasionaly, & as a result certain issues can go unresolved & even get worse.

Life isn't perfect. We're all at some stage going to have arguments with those around us. Whether it's family or friends not respecting your privacy, someone who wants everything their own way, your friends, family or partner not respecting your choices- you get the idea. I will be the first to admit that I don't take kindly to people pushing me about. After years of being bullied I have learnt to stand up for myself & how to approach situations, & I want to share some tips on how to avoid nasty confrontations & dealing with problems.

- Don't lose your temper. It sounds stupid but shouting & swearing doesn't fix a problem. If someone has upset you then think about what you want to say to them, don't just go in all guns blazing. Look them in the eye & tell them as calmly as you can that you don't like what they have said/done & tell them how it has made you feel.

- Be honest. If someone thinks they are doing something for your own good but you don't want them to then politely tell them you appreciate the gesture but you wish to do it your way.

- Think before you act. If someone is doing something in a way you think isn't right then don't just go in & take over or start telling them how to do it. Alot of the time what suits one person may not suit another & just because it's not the way you would do it doesn't mean it is wrong. In the event where what that person is doing could be harmful or detrimental to them or others then gently approach the subject & tell them your concerns- they may have no idea what they were doing was bad or wrong.

- Take a look at yourself before criticising others. We all have faults & being hypocritical is common- someone will happily criticize someone else whilst they themselves are also at fault or doing something wrong.

- Respect someones privacy. If they have asked you not to become involved then don't get offended- this is their problem/ issue/ decision & by involving yourself against their wishes or without asking them has the potential to cause problems. Equally, if someone is getting involved in things of yours that don't concern or affect them then politely but firmly tell them to please stay out & not get involved. If they continue then be firm (not rude) & tell them straight- "This is none of your business, please stay out of it".

- Be careful on bringing personal subjects up. If someone is doing something or behaving in an inappropriate way then they may not realise they are doing it. Examples of this could be embarrassing or inappropriate behaviour, offensive actions or behaviour, poor attitude, disrespectful or rude behaviour, poor personal hygeine or scruffy appearence that is detrimental to themselves and offensive to those around them, or things that they are doing that have the potential to cause them harm or get them bullied. Sit the person down on their own & tell them that you have concerns & ask them if they knew that there was a problem. Give them some friendly pointers on how to rectify the problem.

- Set boundaries. If someone is getting too close for comfort, trying to control things or generally not respecting your privacy or wishes then tell them honestly that you're uncomfortable with this & you would appreciate it if they just stepped back.

- Compromise. You can't always have your own way & equally you shouldn't just give in all of the time. Everyone is entitled to an opinion & you have to allow someone to put their opinions forward as well as having your say.

- Don't 'gang up' on someone or involve others. Two or more people against one person isn't fair & that person can feel outspoken or afraid to speak if people are ganging up on them.

- Speak for yourself. If someone has overstepped the mark then tell them how you feel yourself. Asking others to 'have a word' can make things worse & the truth can get twisted.

- Be honest. Lying or playing things down/up can make things worse. Equally, don't be nasty with the facts as this can really hurt the other person.

- Are they worth it? If someone repeatedly does things to upset, hurt or annoy you then it may be time to consider disassociating yourself from them or asking them to keep their distance. Tell them firmly that you don't want to be hurt anymore & if they won't stop then you don't want to be around them. If this isn't an option then you may have to involve someone who can stop that person from doing what they are doing.

So there we have it. This may not work for everyone but I hope this was useful. Thanks for reading :)
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For questions, suggestions, comments & opinions email me at:
dollytrolley1994@gmail.com