This weeks likes & dislikes

Hello everyone!!!

I am going to hopefully put out a few posts this week on various things, as hopefully I will have plenty of time to just chill this week. Today I am doing a likes & dislikes as it has been long since the last one!

There are alot of things that I am liking at the moment, & a few not so much! So without further ado, here they are :)

Like #1: Music- music is a huge part of my life. There is a song for every mood, every moment & I often wonder how different the world would be if music didn't exist. It has gotten me through the good & bad times, & there have been so many moments when a specific song has just completely summed up how I feel. One particular song that I just love is "Beneath your beautiful" by Labrinth & Emeli Sande. Labrinth's voice especially is incredible (the raspiness literally gives me chills) & the song meaning is fantastic- about being able to see what is really inside. Love it!

Like #2: Hot chocolate- Can't believe summer is over already! The days are getting colder (& wetter!) & already some shops are starting to advertise Christmas stuff! Mental! But seriously, I love hot chocolate. There is nothing better than sitting in front of the telly when it's cold outside, you've got a fluffy onesie on, something good to watch, & a big mug of hot chocolate with cream & marshmallows (calories, yes. But oh-so-yummy). Bliss.

Like #3: Chunky knit jumpers- Again, on an autumny/wintery theme, chunky knitted jumpers are an essential for me. I hate cold weather- I am one of these people who starts shivering at the slightest draught, & the cold affects my joints badly. This year I got a head start & bought myself some really cute, cosy knits. Not only will they keep me warm, they are also bang on-trend (think I'll do a haul post/video on this!) & I have one for every occasion.  My favourite is definitely a long, cream-coloured cable knit jumper-dress that I got on Amazon for the bargain price of £6.99!

Like #4: Home-made goodies- Nothing is more enjoyable than something home-made that you have put the effort into making, & it turning out even better than expected. A few weeks ago I made some preserved lemon & lime wedges (Everything tastes better with a bit of citrus!) & they turned out fantastic. I love putting them on fish, in pasta dishes or even just eaten on their own when you have those middle-of-the-night, only-salty/savoury-will-do cravings!

Like #5: Loom bands- I have become hooked on the latest craze now. For a few quid, there are hours of fun to be had & the colour combinations are endless. One thing I like about this craze is that it is just simple, cheap, creative fun for all ages & you don't have to bust the bank or be a super-creative, Pintrest-worthy genius to make some really pretty creations. I've got loads of colours now & just enjoy sitting & making them when I have a spare moment.

Dislike #1: The current obsession with zombies, apocalypses & the world ending- It's getting to the point where you can't even switch on the TV without there being something zombie/apocalypse/world-ending related. It's doing my head in. Why is everyone so obsessed with miserable, morbid things nowadays?

Dislike #2: The soap storylines- On another TV theme, I have completely stopped watching the soaps. Some of the storylines are just so far fetched & they drag on to the point of being completely unrealistic. Also, why is everyone always so miserable in soapland? No wonder the ratings are dropping.

Dislike #3: Dirty people- There is nothing worse than being on a bus or out in public & being near someone who doesn't wash. I ended up leaving a queue in the supermarket & moving to a different one due to one such person stood in front of me. Also, it really bothers me when you see someone happily coughing & sneezing everywhere without covering their mouth & nose. Yuck!

Dislike #4: Warm, damp weather- I don't know why but lately it seems that the air is constantly all horribly hot & sticky. We haven't had alot of rain so that may be why, but either way it's horrible.

Dislike #5: Judgemental people- This one is based on an incident that happened this week. Not going into detail but someone rather upset me this week. They very rudely said "Oi, you can't use that, it's for disabled people, not just anyone..." whilst I was holding my rather annoyed fiance back (annoyed is an understatement) I politely informed them that in fact I was disabled. Then they turned round & said "Well what's wrong with you? You're not in a wheelchair". So I simply told them that 1) Not all disabled people are in wheelchairs & 2) That I didn't have to justify myself to them or owe them an explanation.  An old man who was watching this turned round to this person & said "I suggest you stop being such an interfering nosy parker & go home & educate yourself. Just because you can't see what's wrong doesn't give you the right to judge". The person needless to say walked very quickly away with a red face & their tail between their legs. I thanked the man & he told me "Don't worry love, some people are just morons". This incident upset me though- it just goes to show how ignorant some people are, & they need to think more before they speak.

So there you have it. Hope you all enjoyed reading. Does anyone have any likes or dislikes they want to share? Post in the comments below :) Have a lovely week :) xxx
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For questions, suggestions, opinions & comments, feel free to post below or email me at:
dollytrolley1994@gmail.com

Endometriosis- an update

Hello everyone,

So as some of you may have seen in previous posts, I had a meeting with the bowel & endo specialist on Wednesday (The same one who during our last meeting was totally unhelpful & was the cause of that very depressing post I wrote after). I did not hold out much hope for this second meeting- & it turns out I was right not to. The only reason I was seeing him was because my GP had written a strongly worded letter telling him that I needed to be treated properly.

I am not a medical professional but I know when I am being fobbed off. He obviously hadn't read the report from my surgery as he commented "Well it can't be the endometriosis causing the problem as we did remove some of it & it obviously hasn't helped". No, they removed a tiny amount for biopsy as it was TOO DANGEROUS to remove more (due to bleeding, my oxygen levels dropping ect). He avoided discussing my questions (such as what treatment is there?) & told me he was just going to refer me back to my GP who could decide my treatment. What a nice, helpful doctor!

So meantime I am stuck with no end of problems, I am not ovulating so I don't even know if I can have kids, I am in constant pain & now have the stress of waiting. I know my GP will not be happy with the way I have been treated by this particular doctor (again!). She has been fantastic through all of this, & I know she will do everything possible to get me the treatment I need. But in the meantime I am still suffering & it isn't fair.

On a more cheerful note at least now I can say that hopefully I will be referred to somewhere that I can actually get treated, & until then I will keep my chin up. I am still pretty poorly from my chest infection, but it is very slowly getting better (finally!) & am just taking each day as it comes.

On a slightly different note I want to say thankyou to someone. I am a member of the Health Unlocked Endometriosis UK support forum. Its basically a page where women who suffer from endometriosis can go to get advice, share experiences & generally support each other. I won't mention names but there is one particular person who I have been chatting to for a while now, & consider her a friend. Every day I always get a message asking how I am & how I am feeling, & its just nice to be able to chat, talk through the ups & downs, & to help eachother out. So thankyou :)

Hope you all have a good week. I'm doing a few new posts this week so watch this space! Thanks for reading! Xxx

A very busy month!!!

Hello lovelies!!!

It's been almost a month since my last post, but this isn't down to laziness,  I promise :)
The last few weeks have been crazy busy- birthdays, endless hospital appointments, travelling & some personal changes. It's not been easy- & I'm hoping that this next few weeks will see things slow down as I am absolutely exhausted.

So the first thing is I turned 20 a couple of weeks ago. This for me was kind of a big deal as it really bought home just how fast time passes. 2 days before my birthday I was worried that I'd be in hospital for my 20th as I ended up being rushed to A&E with chest pains again (I got released the next day being told it might be the endometriosis spreading to my chest & that I needed to go back & see the consultant as soon as possible). My birthday itself was nice- just a small party with family & friends. I went up North to my grandparent's that weekend & had a nice shopping spree in Liverpool (more about that in another post!).

The second thing is all of the hospital appointments- I am having hand therapy at the moment & have 1 session per week. Me & the hand therapist have both agreed that I'm not benefitting from it, but I want to go through with it so that I can at least tell the consultant I tried. It is a shame as I was hoping it would help, & I am really now hoping that the hand consultant will be able to do something. I've also had various other appointments- general checkups, blood tests, medication reviews ect... the list goes on.

I have received an appointment to see the bowel specialist again on the 3rd of September (let's hope that this time he will actually try to help me instead of fobbing me off!) It rather annoyed me when the hospital rang to offer me the appointment though, as they told me on the phone that there was no record of him having the previous appointment with me (no notes from clinic, not even the supposed refferal to pain management which he tried to fob me off with). There was also no record of him having received or reviewed my laparoscopy results- as you can imagine I was fuming. This was the same man who sat there & told me he didn't want to treat me & was just going to send me to pain management! The lady on the phone was sympathetic & agreed that it was appauling- for someone who has stage 4 endometriosis, they should be doing alot more to ensure I get the correct treatment & help.

Rant over anyway! A couple of other changes have taken place too. Just before my birthday I made the decision to cut my hair short again. It was a hard choice but necessary- I have very thick hair & having it long meant it took alot of looking after. This wasn't always easy, especially when I'm not well & no matter how many times I brushed it it always seemed to turn into a mass of knots. So off it came. However I wasn't too upset as I went back to my old style- a cute & femenine Rhianna-style cut. I also went from bleached blonde to a lovely soft bluey-black so overall I'm happy. The second change is I've had another tattoo, but there will be more about that in a later post so for now my lips are sealed! Needless to say I am going to be tackling some of the issues surrounding tattoos so watch this space!

So, an overall very busy month. Like I said, I am hoping things will start to calm down & I am currently working on a few new posts full of exciting things, which I will post over the next few days. Until then, thanks for reading :) Xxx

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For questions, suggestions, opinions & comments, feel free to either comment below or email me at:
dollytrolley1994@gmail.com

Endometriosis: the next stage- scary times

Hello everyone!

In my last post I think I spoke a bit too soon when I said things were a bit better. On Tuesday 1st of July I had been feeling pretty rough all day. Part of the problem I am now having with my endometriosis is horrible sharp pain in my belly button that feels like I am being ripped open. I've also been having alot of chest pain which leaves me struggling to breathe & making my heart rate increase.

By about 10pm I couldn't stand the pain anymore, I was sweating & feeling pretty chilly & I couldn't breathe very well, so called NHS 111 (the out of hours GP service). Next thing I know the lady on the phone said an ambulance was on its way, mainly because she was very concerned that I was having chest pains. When the ambulance arrived they were pretty worried because my blood pressure was quite high & I had a fever. They took me to A&E & I was really scared at this point. I was hooked up to monitors & drips & I was just in so much pain.

After hours of waiting, blood tests, 2 chest xrays, several ECG's & monitoring, they told me that there was no infection lurking, & there were no obvious problems like clots, bleeding, heart issues or blockages. The doctor was concerned because (warning- TMI!) my bowels looked very full (odd because I wasn't constipated). They kept me in on the observation ward & gave me morphine overnight. In the morning the gynaecologist came to see me & said that they'd probably keep me in again.

She told me that one of the problems they were having was that because I was being treated at a different hospital for my endo, that there wasn't alot they could do. I explained to her what had happened when I had previously been to see the "Bowel specialist" & she told me that it sounded like he was trying to fob me off & that I needed to see the GP to get a second opinion.

The only thing the gynae team at my local hospital could really offer me was contraceptive treatment & pain releif as they didn't have any of my laparoscopy or diagnosis report. I had already discussed contraceptive & hormone treatment with my other half & it wasn't a viable option as I have hormone problems & last time I was on the pill it made things worse.

I asked her if she was able to give me some pain relief so I could go home, & although she was still concerned she agreed, telling me I must go to my GP that week to get a referral to a specialist endo centre, & that I must come back if things got worse.

I spent the rest of the week sleeping & in alot of pain. When I saw the GP on Friday she was really shocked about what the bowel specialist had said & that there was no way this could just be left. She also told me that as well as having endo on my bowels, uterus & rectum, it was also spreading to my bladder & that I had alot of scarring & endo in the Pouch of Douglas (the area between my rectum & vagina). She also said that the report showed alot of scarring & adhesions.

The GP has now referred me to a specialist endo centre in Southampton so I'm waiting for an appointment. I really hope that things start to move forward now, as this has been going on for a long time now. Other than that I am trying to keep positive & hopeful that they can help me.

Thanks for reading :)
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For questions, suggestions, opinions & comments,  email me at:
dollytrolley1994@gmail.com

Endometriosis- upset, angry & frustrated

Hello everyone,

*** Warning- contains some strong language & things some readers might find upsetting

Todays post isn't going to be a happy one I am afraid- I need to vent over the latest "event" in my endometriosis journey as I really am not a happy bunny! Until now I have been fairly positive & upbeat over this whole nasty business, but I've had a rather big setback today which has really pissed me right off.

I saw the bowel specialist today & to say I was shocked & angry by what I was told is an understatement. In my last post I wrote that the gynaeacologist had told me I was going to need major surgery & that the bowel surgeon wanted to see me urgently to discuss this. I went in today expecting to be discussing my next stage of treatment & hopeful that they were finally going to give me the help I need. Instead I was fobbed off & now feel absolutely crap about everything.

Basically he told me that yes, the endometriosis needed to be removed, but they weren't going to do it until they absolutely had to. When I asked what he meant by this I was told that until the pain became too much for me to cope with they weren't going to operate. My thoughts were "It's too fucking much now!". When I asked him what I was supposed to do in the meantime he told me "Pain management specialists will put you on more painkillers to help you deal with the pain". So I then turned round & pulled out the huge paper bag of all of my prescription painkillers (such as morphine, tramadol & co-dydramol!!!) & tablets that I had just picked up from the pharmacy & said "This is the cocktail of stuff I am already on, most of it for this problem alone" & wanting to say "I need treatment, not just more tablets".

Then he asked me about all my other problems very briefly. When I tried to explain how badly the endometriosis was affecting me the response I got was "Yes does sound rather nasty". My questions why he was refusing to do my surgery were avoided with "Well I don't want to do it until you feel that you absolutely cannot cope". I would have understood if he would have told me that it was too risky or complex, but instead I felt like I was being told "Well basically we're going to wait until something goes wrong before we do anything". What a fucking joke.

One of the things that annoyed me the most is the fact that I had been told I would need to have the op as soon as possible, told I needed to see this doctor urgently & gotten my hopes up that they were going to help me. Instead I am just going to be given even more pills & just being left to suffer. It's not fair. When I came out of the hospital I explained to dad & phoned my fiancee- both were livid. I was shaking, angry & crying my eyes out. I couldn't stop crying the whole way home & just went to bed when I got in. I've been feeling so shitty since then.

Me & my family have all agreed that this is totally unacceptable- this is certainly not the first time I have been let down by the NHS or not been given the treatment I need (& in the past, as a result I have suffered with consequences- some with permanent damage!) & tomorrow I am going to visit my GP. I'll be honest too & just tell them straight that I cannot live like this any longer & feel that a second opinion is needed. My GP has been fantastic throughout this whole ordeal & I think that they will be just as shocked as I am. I feel so let down & crap right now & just want the help I need.

Rant over- sorry to be so miserable but I needed to get that out of my system. Thanks for reading x